Welcome to BogPeople.com
You have been lucky enough to stumble upon one of the greatest and oldest treasures of the Internet. Oh yes...the dotcom bubble has well-and-truly burst and only those sites with enduring appeal and true quality are left standing. Well, those and a couple of thousand porn sites. This is not a porn site, lest any confusion should arise. I'm sorry if that's a disappointment.
Up to now, I've hidden my considerable light under a bushell (out of consideration for the fragile egos of less-great mortals, naturally). The Greateness of BogPeople.com is self-evident to all, but the mysteries surrounding this Greatness have remained...well...mysterious. But as I am now very advanced in years (dog years, anyway), I have decided to share my secrets with the world. You too can aspire to the Greatness embodied by BogPeople.com if you observe these, the Three Guiding Principles of Great Website Design:-
It is a futile endeavour. Pretty much everyone who is on the Internet at any particular time is searching for pornography anyway, so anything you might have to say is going to be pretty uninteresting. Those people are actually pretty happy about the whole dotcom bubble thing as (from their perspective) it has cleared out lots of useless and annoying clutter from the Internet. "Useless and annoying clutter" to these people is pretty much everything except pictures of naked people commiting acts of depravity and improbable athleticism with each other and/or assorted fruit, vegetables or electrical appliances. It is a curious perspective on life.
People crave the familiar. A good website should be like an old pair of shoes. Smelly. Tattered. Dried dog-poo oozing from the grooves in the soles. Well, OK, not exactly like an old pair of shoes. The point is that people fear change. When you think you've made the site as good as your feeble mind, languid imagination and luddite technical skills will allow, leave it alone. If you go tinkering, you will only make it worse and will give your adoring public an uneasy sense of dislocation. This will lead to them slaughtering their families and establishing religious cults to worship dung-beetles. It will. The only reason this doesn't happen more often is because nobody is looking at the non-pornographic websites (see point 1 above).
Its not that long ago when the page counter was the last word in dynamic content. Your visitors could keep hitting "Refresh", watching agog as the counter mysteriously counted ever upwards, hypnotised by its incomprehensible digital magic. Java, Flash and their ilk are but passing fancies. It is the incomparable and enduring appeal of a well-placed page-counter will keep them coming back for more.
That it ! Anyway, now that I've shared my wisdom with you, please feel free to sample the rest of the treasures and delights to be found within.
Regular visitors (!) may remember that there was a bunch of drivel some profound wisdom at this point. If you need to draw inspiration from it again, click here to see it in its rightful place
[If you are one of those moral-majority types, you should probably skip this paragraph. Really. OK then...read it, but don't bother to complain...I really don't care]. In the interests of keeping the search engines interested (and in order to suck in some of those people looking for the porn), here are a few rude words: Fuck. Tits. Sheep. Bollocks. That should do it. [I warned you].
Anyway, since you've been curious (or bored) enough to read down this far, you could probably do with some exercise, so I'd better give you something to click on. Brace yourself...
No matter how it might seem, the Internet is full of people. They are mostly of the kind which would be in the zoo flinging dung at visitors but for an undeserved lucky break in the game of evolutionary roulette. Here are just some of them
(If you find that you need to gorge yourself on the fountain of my boundless wisdom more more often than my infrequent updates to this site allows, you can always visit my blog).
Stuff That Made Me Think (honest !)
If your sleeping tablets just aren't making the grade, you've come to the right place
My life is full of lots of things for which I don't have a proper place (and - if I'm honest - lots of proper places into which I couldn't be bothered to put the appropriate things). This web page is no different and here is just some of the virtual flotsam which doesn't seem to belong anywhere else
My Favourite Sites (apart from this one, of course !)
Interval Pop Quiz - A Java game to test your ability to recognise musical intervals
PitchPipes - A Java Guitar Tuning Applet
How I fixed the screen of my Nokia 8210 mobile phone for €1.40 !
The BogPeople Patent Pension Calculator
The BogPeople Patent Mortgage Calculator
Euclid's Extended Algorithm for calculating Greatest Common Divisor
Binomial Coefficient Calculator (handy for working out how unlikely you are to win the Lotto !)
The Guest Book (go on...sign it...it will make my day !)
Take a look at my first ever website (from 1996). Decide for yourself if things have improved. I think the jury is still out.
No self-respecting web site is complete without a hit counter. Apart from serving the vanity of the site's creator (which is rarely does since he/she usually clocks up most of the hits), it serves to comfort the poor entrapped surfer that others have suffered through the web page and survived. This page is no different. You, dear surfer, are one of the lucky...
...who have been privileged to sample the delights of www.bogpeople.com. Congratulations !
Since you are here (and for some bizarre reason, you chose to read down this far), why don't you take a moment to sign the Guest Book ?
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